Gap exists in market for tradesmen who can be arsed to turn up, study finds

Young adult electrician builder engineer screwing equipment in fuse box

Roofers, plumbers and electricians could carve out a highly profitable niche for themselves by bothering to turn up for the appointments they have made, according to new research. In a study of different tradesmen from builders to landscape designers to joiners, evidence suggested showed no profession really owned the ‘turning up to appointments’ space.

Market researcher Claire Hislop, said: ‘Builders clearly rule the asking-to-be-paid-up-front-in-cash market and roofers are still firmly in the driving seat when it comes to hiding CCJs. But we’ve yet to find a single profession that is really nailing the turning-up-to-appointments market – or the even more basic ‘actually-answering-the-bloody-phone’ niche. Addressing this gap could be a real differentiator for any tradesman not too idle or disorganised to actually do so.’

Leeds electrician Nick Ferguson, said: ‘I’ve set up a profile on yell.com called SW Electrical Solutions, which makes it look like I’m a professional and I know roughly what I’m doing. Then when you call me you’ll usually get through to my wife, who’s seemingly oblivious to my existence, let alone the fact I’m an electrician. I would suspect her of having an affair with another tradesman when I’m out at work, but for the fact that I’m hardly ever out at work and he probably wouldn’t have turned up anyway.’

‘Eventually, she’ll hand me the phone at which point I’ll spend up to nine or ten minutes trying to find a pen before agreeing to come to your house at a time I know I definitely can’t make because I’ve got two other appointments then. A week later I’ll send you a text with a smiley face and the words ‘not tdy van frost issuez, soz x’, which means that I couldn’t make the original appointment because of a light frost that morning, which will be a transparent lie. Cash up front would be ideal though, if you’re still interested.’

Matt Ward

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2016 by

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