Personality flaws make you smarter than people with traits you desire but don’t have, a new study has revealed.
Jealous that you’re not as cool as your brother, as active as a friend who makes regular trips to the gym or as hygienic as someone who washes? Thinking of making self-improvements? Don’t!
Furthermore, whatever personality traits you have but wished you didn’t, is actually a sign of greater intelligence than those you envy.
Too lazy to walk to the toilet for a wee so you just go on the sofa? You are simply content living in your own thoughts. Too quiet to make new friends? You’re just wise enough to wait for the right person even if they never come.
Researchers asked subjects carefully worded questions like ‘is everyone else the problem?’ and ‘are you secretly brilliant?’ Nearly 100% of respondents decided there was nothing wrong with them at all.
‘It’s a bit of a relief,’ said one participant. ‘Before this study I was working on getting my life in order but now I know masturbating to the Jeremy Kyle show is good for me, I’ll probably stick to that.’
‘Past assertions that self-importance is useful and necessary were incorrect’, reported the study. While change is definitely needed, it’s everyone else who has to do the changing, Bizarrely, contradictory traits are equally beneficial. A loud person is smarter than a quiet person and a quiet person is smarter than a loud person.’
‘It’s almost as if this is pseudoscience slapped together to get clicks on the internet.’