At an industry launch event today the Creator of the Universe delighted onlookers by revealing that the latest installment of His popular Woman series will come with double the number of breasts. In an unrelated announcement, God has confirmed He will hold another launch event next week to unveil Man 2.0 with four arms.
‘In any business you’ve got to give the punters what they want,’ explained God. ‘Being omniscient, I knew that the most popular features of my Woman product were the pendulous upper-trunk appendages, so why stop at two? But don’t think this is just a redesign for the men. Not only does the new ‘back-rack’ provide increased satisfaction to all users, for women it makes it much easier to nurse quadruplets.’
Among those to welcome Woman 2.0’s new set of 4x4s are builders. ‘I’ve long thought the twin-tit model has had its day,’ said site foreman Kev. ‘Sometimes one of the lads will wolf whistle, but by the time you turn round the bird’s walking away from you and you’ve missed the goods. Thanks to this four-funbag edition you can cop an eyeful the whole time.’ He added: ‘A few additional orifices would have been a nice touch, but you can’t have everything.’