Man reveals football ignorance in record time


An investment banker from Hove today made plain his utter lack of football knowledge within seconds of taking his seat at a barbershop near his City office, witnesses claim.

Asked by the barber if he had seen the game last night whilst still being fitted with the rubbery cape thing, James Hayward raised eyebrows by admitting that he had missed it, before asking whether it was a good game and what sort of game it was.

When informed ‘it was Chelsea, weren’t it, in the big one, the six-pointer’ the suited businessman thought he was on safe ground by nodding sagely and saying ‘ah yes – Chelsea against…United.’  Other barbers and their customers turned to stare at Hayward as he admitted that he was more of a rugger man, himself, and also enjoyed the odd round of golf.

Sensing a change of topic was called for, the barber asked if he had any plans to go anywhere nice next summer.  Hayward said that he and his partner were considering a walking tour of Mongolian yurts.

Conversation then gave way to the sounds of clipping, the rumble of outside traffic and a radio tuned to Heart FM.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2016 by

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