The lazy, useless and those whose jobs mean basically nothing are currently enjoying another day of pissing around with fairy lights, it has emerged. ‘Nigella’s Puddings or The Force Awakens – I just can’t decide!’ tweeted one smug teacher. ‘Finished my shopping and now in pub lol,’ proclaimed the Facebook status of his students..
‘This is not atypical for this time of year’ explained Bryan Jones, an IT manager from Suffolk. ‘Most people’s last work memories of the year involve an extremely hazy recollection of Friday’s work meal, before waking up on the roof of a moving refuse collection vehicle. Then it’s all ‘trulla-fucking-la’ until New Year. Meanwhile, the cogs of industry for our great nation are kept turning by the diligent, the miserly and of course those who are awaiting new holiday allocation..’
‘I never wanted to play Star Wars Monopoly and drink sherry from 10:30 anyway as I’ve got SQL databases to update – which I’ll do with a stale Bucks Fizz from last weeks party, if you don’t mind. We’re not all squares down here you know!’ he added, to NO ONE.