Trump turns down own inauguration invite


President-elect Donald Trump today rejected his own invitation to appear at his inauguration ceremony.

‘I could understand it when Sir Elton said no. Even Justin Timberlake and Katy Perry made sense. But quite frankly when I saw the rest of the list of stars that were too embarrassed to be there I thought I had better join them’, admitted Trump. ‘I mean when the likes of Coleen Nolan are saying no to something, you don’t say yes. What kind of a Muppet would that make me?’

Well known for his midnight tweets, Trump quickly took to social media to distance himself from the ceremony. ‘Will I be there? Hell no. #notgoingtobethatloser’ he tweeted.

‘To be honest the crowd will be wanting to see a strong lineup and at the moment I’m just not feeling I’m the right name for the public,’  explained Trump later in a statement.

Instead his place will be taken by Homes under the Hammer presenter Martin Roberts, recently back from the jungle on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and currently enjoying a recent surge of popularity. ‘I’d never heard of him before,’ said Trump. ‘But everybody seems to like him so I thought why not give the people what they want?’

Barry Van Hire

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2017 by

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