Streep grabs chance to be Pussy Galore

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Pussy Galore, one of Ian Fleming’s most enigmatic female characters, and a hot lesbian to boot, is set to make a come-back in a sequel to the 1964 film Goldfinger.

Casting for the movie is already underway with Meryl Streep already signed up as former Australian bush pilot, Pussy, Alec Baldwin as the psychopathic demagogue Donald Godfinger and Samuel L Jackson as his evil English henchman, Nigel Brextit.

The new plot will centre around Godfinger’s attempts to turn the USA into an impenetrable fortress, golf-course and giant casino in which he turns citizens into lumps of coal and carbonised gaming chips.

Into the frame comes Pussy Galore, a notorious Hillary lover and member of ‘The Hidden Hand’ a cabalistic cult made up of an Amazonian female elite whose leader, Ellen Degenerate is plotting to put the ‘finger’ in his rightful place.

Whilst playing a game of craps with carbonised immigrants in the Gulf of Mexico, Godfinger spots a dripping wet Pussy emerging from the ocean. The sight of his nemesis makes him see red, sending him into a frenzy until he makes a grab for her. But Pussy gets the better of Godfinger and, pulling her attacker’s legs out from under him, he is thrown into deep quicksand.

Pleading for his life Godfinger sinks deeper and deeper into the mire until only his scalp is visible.

Despite her hatred for him and with protests from his Mexican gaming chips, she makes her choice and tries to save him by grabbing him by the hair. But it is no use. She pulls back a pathetic handful of ginger tufts and can only look on as Godfinger sinks without trace.

After pondering on the true meaning of life for a few seconds, Pussy is approached by a small Mexican boy. He smiles at her and gives her his sombrero whereupon she is carried away in a massive conga line as a fiesta breaks out and she is left to consider her Oscar chances.

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Posted: Jan 10th, 2017 by

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