Trump’s list of things to do on his first day in office

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1. Deliver inauguration speech promising to grab power by the pussy
2. Have Hillary, Bill and, oh yeah, Natasha and Ludmila (don’t ask) ‘mysteriously’ disappear
3. Finalise deal with Putin on co-overseeing Russia’s oil industry
4. Install a new director into CIA and have him assign a whole section to keeping an eye Obama
5. H-bomb Shanghai to show Chinese he means business
6. Move the White House to the Virgin Islands so that he can go to the beach after a day’s work
7. Sell Puerto Rico back to the Spanish because it is full of foreigners
8. Have Melania do press conferences in skimpy outfit to keep the press occupied
9. Have kids set up low key money laundering businesses so that no one knows he still has a hand in his corporate enterprises
10. Instead of building a wall on Mexico’s border install millions of land mines. They would be cheaper and more entertaining
11. Make an offer to buy Canada because of its oil reserves and should they refuse, invade
12. Buy Monaco as a gift and an investment for Baron
13. Partition California into smaller ‘states’ to dilute its power
14. Using Federal funds have the Titanic raised and refurbished into a private Presidential yacht
15. Make plans with his billionaire Cabinet members to set up the Treasury as a permanent backup cash stockpile in case any of their businesses fail
16. Force Vermont out of the Union for being the home of Bernie Sanders

rfreed

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2017 by

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