The ghost of former US President William Henry Harrison has revealed that he hopes Donald Trump will beat his record for the shortest term served. Harrison died on 4 April 1841, after only 30 days in office, which is clearly too long a period for Trump to have his little fingers on the nuclear codes.
‘Like Donald, I was a divisive figure, I was pro-slavery and I was the Whig candidate,’ said Harrison. ‘Unlike him, I had served in the military, remained faithful to my only wife and had considerable experience of government, so swings and roundabouts, eh?’
Harrison contracted pneumonia after delivering a two-hour inaugural address on a cold, rainy day in Washington DC, dwelling mainly on complex legislative issues. ‘Still, Donald seems to be good at talking about nothing in particular for two hours, so fingers crossed,’ he said. ‘How was the weather on his inauguration day, anyway? ‘Cloudy with passing golden showers’, apparently. Sorry, couldn’t resist.’