Climate change ‘making government less transparent’


A government spokesman has blamed increasing CO2 levels and rising temperatures for making the whole business of governing opaque. DEFRA analysis of climate change data has indicated a shift in openness and honesty amongst Whitehall staff.

‘It’s not what we expected,’ he said, noting that rising sea levels and less predictable weather patterns were ‘probably predictable’ before denying they existed. ‘Don’t believe everything you read,’ he added, holding up the latest DEFRA report before stuffing it back down behind the sofa.

Experts have noted that the increase in opacity has increased right across all government departments. ‘What Trident malfunction? No need for a statement, never happened,’ said another Whitehall mandarin today before expressing sympathy for the Florida residents who lost their homes ‘when a missile, sorry, hurricane struck last June. Bloody climate change,’ he added.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2017 by

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