J.K. Rowling has announced she is going to completely re-write all seven Harry Potter novels and this time, Voldemort will triumph.
In a recent tweet, the author said that ‘the world has clearly turned upside down’ and now ‘evil is more commercially viable than good’. Rowling has made no secret of her desire to introduce a new generation to the joys of queuing outside WHSmith at midnight ready to hand over £21.99 on a regular basis, and a more contemporary feel to the books will help her achieve that.
The revised Harry Potter series will feature new titles, including Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo, Harry Potter and the Executive Order of the Phoenix, and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Mexican Immigrant.
The series will end with Voldemort killing Harry Potter and taking over the free world. His first acts will include making torture legal, banning affordable healthcare and blocking anyone who disagrees with him on Twitter.