It is your time you are wasting, rather than theirs, confirm teachers


A new study, conducted by secondary school teachers across the land, has concluded that messing about in class is actually a waste of your time, rather than theirs.

‘This finding has echoed anecdotally around classrooms for over 50 years’, noted educational expert, Sandra Smith. ‘However, what is interesting is that his study is the first to be able to put a precise figure to the rather annoying statement made regularly by your dusty business studies teacher. It seems around 2 million hours of student time is wasted each year, compared to a figure of precisely 0 hours for teachers. The low figure for teachers is due to the fact that they ‘are here all day anyway’ and that they ‘are getting paid whether you listen or not.’

‘Time wasting is particularly acute just before lunch and at the end of the day, or where nervous supply teachers are being used’, continued Smith. ‘However, it seems the data is skewed by the fact that pupils misbehaving were often expected to repeat their misdemeanours straight after committing them, through an invitation that perhaps there was something they’d like to share with the rest of the class if it was that funny?.’

The news is likely to have profound effects on school pupils, who are still reeling from other recent research findings that suggest that exams are not the ultimate test, and that the bell is a signal for the teacher rather than them. Time wasting pupils are expected to have plenty of time to think about the implications of these studies in detention, won’t you?


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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2017 by

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