Reduced Yorkie Bar renamed ‘Middlethorpe’

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Food giant Nestle have confirmed that York, with a population of 200,000, is a far too large to represent their shrinking chocolate bar and that a more modest hamlet will be chosen for their advertising campaigns.  Likewise other brands – such as Milkybar and Rolos all cutting by 20% – will be rebranded to reflect their dwindling size and shrinking appeal.

Tilman Shneider, customer marketing manager for the Swiss based confectioners said that some of the chocolate bars would be forced to change their slogans while others would need to tweak their image a little.  The original Milkybar Kid, 74 year old grandfather Terry Brooks is to star in a new advert, but instead of the familiar wild-west scene with schoolboy Terry dressed as a cowboy shooting a six-gun, we will see Terry sitting in a rocking chair by an open fire, eating chocolate buttons off his cardigan: ‘Terry will still be able to shout “the Milkybars are on me” but in a post modern, slightly ironic way.

But Schneider reassured chocolate lovers that the Nestle Animal Bar will not need to change in size: ‘The Animal Bar will be fine’ said Schneider….have you ever tasted one…it’s like dog shit, no one is ever going to question what we put in an Animal Bar’.

 

 

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Posted: Feb 6th, 2017 by

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