The Speaker of the House of Commons has asked the house to endorse his intention to trump loudly in protest at any visit by the US President. Commented John Bercow: ‘It would be my intention to invite POTUS to address us using formal language, then issue an immediate and truthful anal commentary.’ While MP’s from both sides of the house have joined the speaker in proposing a mass trump through the speech, should the President be allowed to address the house.
Plans are already in action to have the Commons restaurants and cafes prepare a special diet of ‘musical fruits’ in preparation for the trumping. In Westminster Hall, loudness trials have already taken place with coverage of the heats eclipsing the coverage of the Stoke By Election. Meanwhile the Sergeant at Arms has initiated a thorough overhaul of the ancient buildings’ ventilation systems.
The Speaker told the house it should aim for maximum impact, drowning out the President’s opening remarks and then offering varied stereophonic commentary to his speech from all corners of the chamber.
‘We should not deny the President the oxygen of publicity,’ the Speaker said to loud cheers. ‘But that oxygen should be countered with the methane of disgust.’