Dear polones and homies (mostly omi-polonies) how bona to vada your ruddy eek, our very own dishy President Tooting Fakement, King of the Naffs! From your bijou lills, to your riah shyker, you really are fantabulosa! Showing a rare old scotch to the charpering omnis, due to your vast Gelt, and your missus with the pert willets. Cavalier or Roundhead – wouldn’t we like to know!
So welcome, to our humble cottage – the old fruit will be seeing you later in her dowry latty with her badge cove (Phyllis the Greek,) crimper first don’t be shy be bold, for a magnificenti pile of mangarie (and nati to the glossies who nix a toss, and anyway you’ve no time for the beak).
So, there’ll be some walloping tonight, although I hear that you don’t go for the vinegar much – no bevvy homie you. You are such a manly Alice, but please not too much zsa zsaing!
And don’t forget – I’ve got your number Ducky.
Oxbridge & Al O’Pecia