Controversial business tycoon Sir Philip Green has sold his knighthood to ex-footie ace David Beckham for £350 million plus a £2.50 handling charge.
‘I felt sorry for the lad’ said Sir Philip ‘I mean, look at all those years of pleasure he brought to millions with his football career, not to mention all the selfless charity work he has done for UNICEF, being flown around the world and having his picture taken with underprivileged kids.
‘It’s a crying shame that those stuck up buffoons on the honours committee have not given him a knighthood yet. Besides, I thought I could make a bit of money before they stripped me of mine’
Mr Beckham said he was ‘chuffed’ and ‘over the Moon’ with the deal. “It’s like a dream come true” said the free-kick specialist, before it was pointed out that knighthoods are non-transferable – then he was ‘as sick as a parrot’.