May guarantees access to ‘nostalgia market’ after Brexit

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Prime Minister Theresa May has promised that after Brexit the UK will still have access to plentiful supplies of nostalgia.

‘Some Remainers have suggested that after Brexit, Britain will be poorer, have a reduced role in the world, and may well become a vassal state to the USA,’ Mrs May said.

‘All that may be true, but I can guarantee to you all that our access to what I call the ‘nostalgia market’ will remain intact.’

The prime minister pledged that supplies of nostalgia would even increase after Brexit.

‘After Brexit, free from EU constraints on our great country’s talent for looking backwards, a truly Golden Age of past memories will open up for the UK,’ Mrs May said.

‘What is the EU compared to the British Empire? Or to our once Great Power status in the world? Our our wonderful special relationship, soon to be renewed, with President Trump’s America? ‘

The prime minister urged the UK to take a global lead in ‘pushing forward the boundaries of navel-gazing, self-indulgence, and a golden talent for nostalgia that has served us well’.

Jacob Rees-Mogg MP and other leading Brexiters said they fully endorsed Mrs May’s ‘exciting vision of the past’.

A Downing Street spokesman said the prime minister was having a lie-down in a darkened room.

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2017 by

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