President Donald Trump announced that under his leadership he fully expects the United States to finally exit the British Empire “within months”.
The Colonies issued notice of intention to leave following a referendum in 1776, but negotiations have not proceeded as quickly as was expected, with many blaming the British Empire for playing hardball on matters such as debt division, compensation for army forts and who gets to keep the Governors’ wine cellars.
Those who hoped for a soft Colonexit will be disappointed, says Trump, who added that there was no need for any special treatment because everyone would want to deal with the new great United States.
Trump also confirmed that the motto of the United States would be changed to mark the exit. He criticised the old motto, “E Pluribus Unum” as being too Latin.
“I have nothing against Latin, by the way,” he said. “I do great Latin. Nobody has ever said anything bad about my Latin. It’s just not what we are today.”
With effect from Colonexit the new motto of the United States will be “Doing bigly™”