‘Storm Doris’ rages in Shanklin Bingo Hall after pensioner misses Full House

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Several Isle of Wight residents have been inconvenienced after Doris Trensham, 79, became ‘very cross’ at missing out on a £23 win at the Bingo on Wednesday night. Insisting that she had called ‘House’ before the caller moved on to the next number, Miss Trensham unleashed her fury at the staff for not hearing her claim, causing widespread disruption within the Shanklin Odeon and holding up proceedings for nearly fifteen minutes.

‘It was certainly a stormy incident’, confirmed the Duty Manager Albert Hackridge, 72. ‘Doris was howling and roaring, with a torrent of criticism raining down on both our caller and our runner. Although poor old Denis is more of a plodder than a runner these days, what with his Zimmer frame and all.’

‘Storm Doris’ eventually reduced in ferocity, to the relief of all those that were looking forward to the Link and Bonanza games. However, the huffing and puffing continued throughout the rest of the evening, mostly from those players who suffer from breathlessness, along with strong and persistent wind, thought to be a result of the stodgy cottage pie offered to all players.

Although there appears to be no lasting damage, Mr Hackridge recommends that people living in the vicinity of Miss Trensham’s home in Acacia Avenue should stay indoors with windows shut and curtains drawn until Storm Doris has completely blown out.

‘Conditions are a lot less manic now than they were that night, but there is still the possibility of unexpected outbursts in the immediate aftermath of Storm Doris’, he said. ‘Although I think Miss Trensham has probably told everyone on the island about it by now.’

Calm conditions are expected to return to the Shanklin Odeon by next Tuesday’s matinee session.

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2017 by

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