With the death of 86-year-old Labour MP Gerald Kaufman, the title of ‘Father of the House’ was thought to be passing to veteran Tory MP Ken Clarke. However, it emerged from leaked emails that ‘Sir’ David Beckham or ‘the people’s knight’, as he wishes to be known, has been lobbying hard for yet another title.
In one email to his PR agency, Beckham allegedly fumed ‘Ken f***ing Clarke? You’re having a f***ing laugh. All that c*** has ever done is smoke cigars and wear Hush Puppies.’ A spokesman for the people’s knight claimed that the comments were obviously false, adding ‘Sir David would never be caught uttering a brand name without a sponsorship deal’.