Downing Street has made it clear that millions of eggs will lose their disability status. While many eggs claim to suffer from ‘mobility issues’, the Department for Works & Pensions has said that they are eligible for work as an omelette, scrambled or stacking egg-cartons in Tesco.
Explained one minister: ‘Battery chickens have long avoided the bedroom tax by cramming into the one warehouse. There can be no more free-rides for the free-range eggs, many of which claim to be housebound when they are simply afraid of bird flu. The welfare state is not a basket in which we can keep all our eggs’.
Aside from free-range, there are three other types of egg sold in the UK – good eggs, egg-heads and Breggsit. This ruling mean millions of eggs are now eligible for adoption, with unconfirmed sightings of Madonna in the vicinity.