Free range eggs may lose disability allowance

Egg

Downing Street has made it clear that millions of eggs will lose their disability status. While many eggs claim to suffer from ‘mobility issues’, the Department for Works & Pensions has said that they are eligible for work as an omelette, scrambled or stacking egg-cartons in Tesco.

Explained one minister: ‘Battery chickens have long avoided the bedroom tax by cramming into the one warehouse. There can be no more free-rides for the free-range eggs, many of which claim to be housebound when they are simply afraid of bird flu. The welfare state is not a basket in which we can keep all our eggs’.

Aside from free-range, there are three other types of egg sold in the UK – good eggs, egg-heads and Breggsit. This ruling mean millions of eggs are now eligible for adoption, with unconfirmed sightings of Madonna in the vicinity.

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2017 by

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