Elderly living in fear of EU blitzkrieg


Many elderly people who voted to leave the EU are living in fear of EU blitzkrieg attacks should the Brexit negotiations end in failure. Apprehension has grown as Article 50 trigger day approaches and some are so worried that they are planning to escape to France or even Germany.

‘I remember like it was just yesterday,’ recalled Bert Tibbs, an 85-year-old retired accounts clerk from Sandown, Isle of Wight. ‘I don’t want to be dodging German bombs again at my age, even though I know we will be victorious in the end. We didn’t have any of these Mars Bars thingies in the War you know. That powdered egg, now, that tasted terrible it did, still playing havoc with my insides…’

Some OAP Brexiters with long memories of Teutonic treachery are critical of the government for not organising air-raid shelters. However, UKIP leader Paul Nuttall – who is himself a retired Field Marshal with a VC for courage above and beyond the call of duty in the Battle of Hillsborough – said that he is confident that ‘the people’s Brexiter army’ will stand firm.

Areas of the country that heavily voted for Brexit are believed to be in the greatest danger, according to UKIP. Stoke-on-Trent, where Nuttall was cheated out of election to Parliament by means of receiving fewer votes than another candidate, is feared by blitz-fearful senior citizens to be particularly vulnerable to EU vengeance.

‘Just when we need a man with a military brain like Paul to stand firm against the Boche, the Eye-Ties and, er, what do we call Lithuania?, we go and elect a Labour appeaser,’ said one elderly Stoke resident who has already dug out his World War II gas mask as a precaution.

Although many older people who voted Leave, back the prime minister to defend Britain against Johnny Euro, some express doubts. ‘Mrs May is a good lass,’ said Tibbs, ‘and she’s doing her best, I’m sure. But, to be honest, she isn’t exactly Field Marshal Montgomery now, is she?’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2017 by

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