Alongside North Sea haddock, opinions put forward by Nicola Sturgeon are no longer feasible and any promise sounds distinctly ‘fishy’. Mrs. Sturgeon has been serving up ‘deep-fried codswallop’ for many years, but now the Marine Conservation Society (MCS) has said that Independence is ‘off the menu’.
Originally, SNP promises were meant to last ‘a generation’, but over-exploitation of the electorate has meant that stocks of ‘meaningful pledges’ are at an all-time low. An MCS spokeswoman said: ‘Theresa May has made her position clear – everyone needs to stick with old trout’.
Even those sympathetic to the Independence cause, feel that Mrs. Sturgeon is just using Brexit as bait and has no intention letting Mrs May off the hook. Conservative insiders has said that PM has no desire to be: ‘Done up like a kipper’.
Ironically Nicola Sturgeon has long been a vital source of Scottish nationalism and processed caviar, but there is only so much bilge that voters can swallow. One demotivated voter complained: ‘Asking for referendum after referendum is not sustainable – it’s just depressing. Some mornings I get up and ask myself, is there a cod?’