Student vows not to let Westminster attack stop him not doing anything


London student Fenton Barnes has issued a message of defiance to the terrorists by going about his business as usual and staying in bed until mid-afternoon.
‘It’s important that this terrible event doesn’t change the way people behave,’ said Barnes. ‘For me, that means staying in bed until Countdown comes on. I could get up early and go to my sociology lecture but that’s when the bastards know they’ve won’.

Barnes’s brave stand against extremism is supported by his flatmate Barry Jenkins, who vowed that no religious nut-job would stop him staying in bed till midday and then nipping down to the corner shop for some Super Noodles and a big bottle of Fanta.

‘I hear that they’re holding a vigil at the Student Union later on,’ added Barnes. ‘I might go down to show support after I’ve played some Overwatch on the Xbox. I’ll see how I feel after my early evening nap’.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2017 by

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