UKIP has welcomed the discovery that the earliest dinosaurs were British. This came after an article from Nature using the words ‘Britain’ and ‘dinosaurs’ appeared in the newsfeeds of lightly staffed tabloids.
‘Dinosaurs, underground railways and the Spitfire. We invented everything, you know. Everything,’ said Nigel Farage. He then ordered a bus to tour Britain with the words ‘Britain. Inventor of the dinosaur. So there’, next to a cartoon of a giant dinosaur snatching Messerschmitts out of the sky.
Nicola Sturgeon immediately condemned the move, saying that the fossils were actually located in a land mass that is now part of Scotland, which wasn’t connected to England then, so that proves it, whereupon about 40,000 satirists started to pen something about heart disease, deep fried Mars Bars and how it was no wonder they died out.