MI5 suggestion box ‘crammed’ with ideas from the public


Members of the public have been supporting the intelligence services with ideas about how to stop terrorism, according to MI5 Director General Andrew Parker.

‘Well, I love the pictures,’ he told reporters. ‘I think that one’s Harry Styles from One Direction with a guitar which shoots bullets and one of nun with an explosive vest walking into a mosque, I think that’s from UKIP.’

While dismissing the idea of sending in the SAS and/or taking over the whole of social media, Parker admitted he was most worried about the people suggesting ‘some form of Middle East peace process’ and rambling letter about ‘tolerance for people from other faiths and cultures’.

‘They’re on a watch list,’ whispered Parker. ‘You have to watch the nutters, they could do anything.’

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2017 by

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