The Welsh government has taken advantage of Westminster’s focus on Scotland to announce changes to bin collection days. ‘While their forces are diverted north, we should strike at the heart of their power’, said Carwyn Jones, First Minister. ‘Just like we did with Edward 1st’.
Caernarvon, a traditional stronghold of revolutionary ferment, is understood to have moved bin collection day from Tuesday to Thursday in a bloodless coup. Bangor has moved its day from Thursday to Tuesday because the two towns share a wagon. ‘We don’t care what they think in London’, said Jones. ‘In fact, we hope it upsets them! Just wait till they see what we’re doing with libraries’.
‘If that awful Cranky woman can have summit meetings with the Prime Minister – well, we’re a nation, too’, said Jones. ‘We’ve downloaded the Welsh language version of ‘Braveheart’ to give us inspiration. It takes four hours in Welsh, which means quite a lot of phlegm flying out of the loudspeakers, but it’s very impressive’.