Trump, Putin, Assad, and Kim Jong-un to stage international ‘Fuckayou’ contest


Donald Trump has thrown down the gauntlet to his enemies by inviting them to play a new version of Buckaroo based on an articulated plastic model of a MOAB missile named ‘Fuckayou’. The winner gets to throw an arsenal of lethal weapons out of his pram and benefit from cheap Chinese imports way into the next millennium.

Presidential press secretary Sean Spicer said: ‘Fuckayou begins the game in a limp and horizontal position with a human palm covered in crude-oil wrapped around its girth. Players take turns closing the fingers around the shaft without causing the Phallus to buck up, and shoot its payload.’

‘The player who triggers the first ejaculation is knocked out, then play resumes. The winner is the last player remaining in the game. In the unlikely event that a player manages to squeeze a finger around the phallus without it bucking, then that player is the winner.’

A Kremlin spokesman added: ‘President Putin will win this manly game. He has been practising in private with Mr Trump and he is quietly confident.’

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2017 by

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