Preparations for armageddon on hold as world awaits British election result

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Political pundits have criticised the US and North Korea for trying to distract the world from the news that Theresa May has called a snap election. ‘It might be fun to lob missiles over aircraft carriers, and drop the mother of all bombs on Pyongyang,’ said a pundit today, ‘but it will take more than that to distract the world from the real “latter day Cuban missile crisis” happening in the UK.’

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un agrees. ‘While I refute any interference from the United States into my country, I can’t help feeling that the snap election is a major game changer in the world and I may have to withdraw from making wild rhetorical speeches for a while,’ he said.

President Trump insisted that he ‘instructed Theresa to call an election’ when she visited and has offered to campaign for her, ‘if only to share at least one headline for the next two months.’

Meanwhile voters have been seen retrieving their steel helmets, barricading their doors and reinstating their fallout shelters in a panic not seen since the referendum last year. ‘It’s going to be brutal; mothers against fathers, brothers against sisters, the Labour Party against Jeremy, everyone else against Jeremy,’ said one pundit.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2017 by

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