In a bid to snatch back public attention from Labour’s Ed Miliband, who this week enthused the young electorate with his casual chat with hipster Russell Brand, PM David Cameron has released footage of a ‘laid back chin wag’ with former funny man and casual racist, Jim Davidson.
‘No my mother in law is not so fat she has to get her knickers on the National Health,’ David Cameron jokily responded in the no-holds barred interview, which is not currently available on YouTube because Jim doesn’t have a channel. ‘Though let me make a point here. Our National Health System is entirely safe in the hands of Conservative MPs and those with shares in private health companies. I want everyone, including those waiting in ambulance queues outside A and E departments up and down the country to know that.’
Mr Cameron continued ‘Let me make a serious point, Jim, about NHS knickers, and what our health service and the welfare system generally is all about. People, especially those with no right to be here and that take advantage of our NHS by forming these queues outside A and E, should not expect a hand-out of fat people’s knickers, they should go out to work and jolly well buy their own!’
Asked by Davidson whether he had consented to the interview as a response to Ed Miliband’s light-hearted banter with Russell Brand, Mr Cameron responded: ‘Look, Jim, if Ed wants to hang out with a bearded junkie who has been thrown out of the BBC and thinks people should be cynical about politicians like me and not vote, that’s his affair. That’s what this election is all about, personal choice!’
‘But let me make a serious point about the BBC, Jim. I know you’re not on the BBC, or on ITV for that matter, or Channel 5 even, or even London Live. But when we return to power we will have no truck with this frankly Marxist outfit, who frankly have no sense of humour when it comes to motoring programmes. And also could they make Sherlock a bit clearer, as I have to waste ages explaining the plots to Sam?’
Asked by Davidson about ‘Nick-Nick’ Clegg, Mr Cameron said. ‘I understand Mr Clegg was going to do his surprise interview with Keith Harris, and Orville isn’t answering his calls for some reason.’ When questioned as to why that might be, Cameron responded: ‘Well, I don’t know whether you have heard, Jim, but sadly Keith Harris has died and my guess is Orville is probably very upset right now as they worked together for many years, and I want to offer my condolences both to Orville and to Mr Harris’s family.’
Meanwhile Nigel Farage’s interview with Roy Chubby Brown will air on Television X and Babestation 2 at 4am tomorrow morning.