Buoyed by an endorsement from representatives of 5,000 small businesses, the Conservative Party has pledged to put a ‘food bank on every street corner’. Not content with four years of misery, David Cameron hopes to continue with his vision of low interest rates, low inflation and low self-esteem for any graduate looking for a job.
Many in the Conservative Party are concerned that, while there remains one or two functioning schools, their work is incomplete. A spokesman said: ‘If just one person is claiming disability benefit, that‘s one too many. We will put an end to poverty, by putting an end to poor people. One way or another.’
Most disappointing for the Prime Minister, has been his failure to kill off the NHS. Despite his best efforts to employ the private sector, cloves of garlic and a stake, David Cameron has been forced to concede that the NHS remains as tenacious as some of its hospital-based infections. Conservatives admit that in order to finish the job they will need another term and an individual of monumental incompetence, but fear Chief Whip, Michael Gove might be too busy.
Printed in the Daily Telegraph, small business leaders have applauded the work already done in keeping down wages, home ownership and any measurable aspect of hope. One businessman commented: ‘Yes, we have a minority of individuals still exploiting tax loopholes and that’s wrong. Everyone should have equal access to dubious accounting. Lefties don’t understand that George Osborne is smothering the economy with his love, and we just want to provide the pillow.’