Jeremy Corbyn’s election campaign has received a warm endorsement from Jesus Christ, former jobbing carpenter and currently 33.3% of the Godhead. Speaking from a popular mount in Wimbledon, Jesus described his joy at discovering a fellow miracle worker when he reviewed the funding for Corbyn’s election policies. [read...]
Nick Ferrari: So how much would 10,000 police officers cost? Diane Abbott: Well, erm… if we recruit the 10,000 police men and women over a four-year period, we believe it’ll be about £300,000. Nick Ferrari: £300,000 for 10,000 police officers? [read...]
David Cameron’s wife Samantha has revealed that she told her husband to buy a garden shed because the sight of the former Prime Minister sobbing in the house was scaring their children. ‘I told him to get the best shed money could buy,’ said Samantha. [read...]
Election campaign manager Lynton Crosby says he came up with the Tory slogan ‘strong and stable’ after watching a horse defecate in his barn. Crosby got the inspiration for the latest Tory mantra just seconds after watching mounds of shit cascading from a horse’s arse. [read...]
A so-far tepid Labour leadership race has started to heat up after one of the candidates was found to have a pulse last night.
Medical experts unexpectedly found the vital life sign on Liz Kendall. [read...]
