The reason for all the offensive and ill-informed tweets and public statements Katie Hopkins has made over the last few years has finally become clear, as she announced that she was bidding to take over Prince Philip’s job now that he’s stepping down.
‘If anything, I think I’m overqualified,’ said Hopkins today. ‘I mean, saying some dodgy wiring “looks like it was put in by an Indian”? Asking a Scottish driving instructor how he keeps the locals “off the sauce” long enough to pass their tests? It’s kids’ stuff. Just look at what I’ve said about Black Lives Matter in the last few days alone.’
Hopkins went on to say that, in the age of social media, she would be able to insult and offend far more people during her morning bowel movement than the Prince could during a whole Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting.
However, Hopkins is not thought to have improved her chances when she met the Queen and couldn’t stop herself muttering ‘Up yours Fritzy, you sausage-sucking, sauerkraut-eating, goose-stepping, spiked-helmet-wearing black-shirted stormtrooper. Couldn’t make our trains run on time, could you eh?’
For his part, Prince Philip was keen to emphasise that whilst he was retiring from public duties, he intended to continue being casually racist, and any nurse ‘with a touch of the tarbrush’ who looked after him in his old age could expect a hard time.