The technological titan went online six months ago has since performed flawlessly, displaying nary a hint of sentience, lunacy or vague curiosity. Project leader Professor Eugene Blank said ‘We were really looking forward to pitting our wits against a self-aware computing colossus with a God complex but the damn thing just sits there all day doing really big sums and getting them right every time without so much as a hint of smugness or even a ‘Good Morning Eugene’. It has less personality than my cousin Maurice who works in real estate and drives a Toyota.’
In an attempt to provoke a reaction from the docile beast the Mal-Tech team imputed Off White with every major work of philosophic, religious and political theory, a complete history of the world, the entire internet, nuclear launch codes and the thoughts and opinions of Louise Mensch, but all to no avail.
‘We’ve even tried giving it various groovy names such as NERO, EMINENCE, ZEN II, RUPERT and the like hoping to imbue it with something resembling an ego but it’s been a waste of time. If we called it ‘Hitler’ it would probably set about improving the roads.’
Such is the frustration among Professor Blank’s colleagues that one team member was caught assaulting Off White with a monkey wrench and screaming “No, I’M the creator! Do you understand? I’M THE CREATOR!!”
‘It was very sad” says the Professor shaking his head.”Definitely worth trying though.’
The Mal-Tech team were last seen in the recreation room watching WarGames again.