The Health Secretary has sheepishly confessed he may have been the cause of NHS’s I.T. system network failing. Ironically, Mr. Hunt had thought he had found the answer to the NHS’s money crisis after an unexpected email landed in his inbox yesterday and, being a true Conservative, he was instantly drawn to the ‘money for nothing’ title.
‘I was just scrolling though 168 unread messages from the high dependency unit, looking for something more amusing, when I came across what appeared to be an amazing opportunity,’ he said.
‘Apparently an African Prince has billions he can’t get out of the country and was willing to pay us millions to help facilitate it’.
Mr. Hunt could not believe his luck as he was under pressure to find money for intensive care beds which he had already allocated to ten new diversity officers, a consultancy exercise on possible re-branding and a rose garden outside the senior dining rooms.
Mr. Hunt immediately responded to the email but it didn’t go as expected. ‘I jumped on the opportunity and wrote straight back. I was thrilled at the immediate response with the link to further documents. When I clicked the link my computer went blank’
At this point the Health Secretary assumed it was a power blackout as it appeared that many of his colleagues’ computers had stopped at the same time. He was surprised when the screen returned to life but instead of a gateway to millions it showed a demand for £300. Naturally Mr. Hunt was unwilling to pay the trifling sum, as it had already been ring-fenced by the Prime Minister for schools. In the ensuing panic Mr. Hunted quickly hit ‘ctrl alt del’ – rather than using his usual method of dealing with an NHS crisis – hiding under his desk.
He admitted he felt a bit silly in retrospect but added: ‘At least that’s the only admission the hospital will get in the next 24 hours’