Theresa May has confirmed that the Conservatives will abolish the trolls that live under the Severn Bridge if elected. The pledge replaces an earlier commitment to halve the number of trolls underneath the bridge by 2018.
‘The prospect of being eaten by a troll is hindering economic progress between south Wales and the west of England’ said the Prime Minister. ‘In this day and age having to negotiate your way past a hungry troll to get across the bridge is unacceptable, it’s time to get rid of them altogether’.
However, Charlie Green of the ‘Trolls, Ogres & Associated Bogeymen Union’ (TOABU) has warned that the scrapping of trolls on the Severn Bridge will lead to job losses among his membership.
‘Bridge trolls were scrapped in Scotland 10-years ago’ says Green. ‘Some got jobs in B&Q and some found employment in Call Centres. But the high cost of feeding trolls to make sure they don’t get hungry and eat their co-workers or customers is prohibitive for many businesses’.
‘Sadly, experience shows that when they become unemployed many trolls will turn to alcohol or drugs. Or in extreme cases join Ukip’.