Planning to redecorate No.10? Try our handy paint colour chart.

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Choose from a plethora of smears, including – 

Main Colours:

Hepatitis C

Skid Mark

Rouged Nipples

Frigid Maiden

David Dickinson

Arterial Spurt

Probably Mud

Off the Wrist

Malcolm Tucker

Strip Mine

Brexit Brown

Glossy Lucas

Rosacea

51st Shade

Disability Grey

Enigmatic Vole

Stretched Prepuce

Speedbump

Sean Coronary

Ring of Fire

Kermit on Acid

Arse Crack

Runcorn Dawn

Flaccid

White-ish

Rancid

Vindaloo Consequence

Birmingham City Nose

Southerner’s Tea

That Just Shagged Flush

Martian landscape

Rainbow’s End

Rabbi Lionel Blue

Baboon’s arse

Jizz

varicose blue

three days dead grey

road rage red

Indifferent green

Sputum

Glockenspeil

Negligence

Parsnip’s crown

Basingstoke

Hint of Effluent

Morbid Asparagus

Scroffula

Haemorrhoid

Post referendum blue

Mainly beluga

Gangrene edge

Pink with a hint of varicose

Kuenssberg Blue

Red Adair

Student bedsit

Chunder

Jaundice

Trump’s Rug

Pretentious

IBS

Murder/Suicide

A bit of bile

Hughie Green

Follow through

Angry boil

Mary Whitehead

Sticky snot

Flamboyant Gaylord

Flaccid fingers

Dead fish

Engorged Labia

Satanic Sunset

Varicose Vein

Flaccid Member

Central Cyanosis

Red

 

Or for Black-Only:

Dolphin bycatch

Hint of despair

Chernobyl

Autopsy

Shroud

Tourniquet

Despair

Depression

Dead nail

Black, black, like my morbid heart… black

Torrey Canyon

Felony

Torment

Agonal Breath

Dolezal White

Ge Thalidomide

Biopsy

Bad News nocide

Extremely Burnt Orange

Your Hat

Potty Kettle

Toaster Max Setting

(hattips to Sinnick, ChrisF, Littlepender, Redben01, Midfield Diamond, Ironduke, beau-jolly, NotNowCato, Adrian Bamforth & Al O’Pecia)

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Posted: May 19th, 2017 by

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