One street dealer Bazzo 18, from Manchester, spoke of his concern about legalizing cannabis: ‘Is like not on man, I mean I don’t like muscle in on iz like affordable housing policy, or Brexit revote shit, he should respect to uz too’.
Explained a hazy LibDem spokeswoman: ‘Let me reassure all those dealers out there, we will not be muscling on their Cocaine, Horse or Marmite. Infact with Brexit looming, I think new import tariffs from places like Holland will aid our home grown producers. We look forward to the day when I can fund better child care and world heritage status for Ming Campbell, from Tesco Value Skunk and Asda Smart Price Draw’.
‘I know a lot little Englanders will decry this policy saying we are giving in to moral decay, but our policy has been carefully thought out and we have consulted many health care professionals – including notable scientists Dr Dre and Professor Green’.