6am gym freak ‘must be silenced’, warn colleagues

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Office workers have agreed that their smug ‘gym-before-work’ colleague will be viciously gagged, if he mentions his morning workout routine again.  The proposed muzzling of 26 year-old new trainee, Ben Smith, follows endless daily boasts that he was performing deadlifts and squats before sunrise.

‘He’s unbearably chipper when he arrives at work,’ said a visibly exhausted and hungover colleague James Reid.  ‘His freshly showered hair is a symbol of everything I am not; he even says ‘Good Morning’ enthusiastically.  Who does that?  I despise him.’

In a recent team meeting, Ben was clamped to a table with his nose and mouth covered, as vast quantities of protein shake were poured over his face.

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Posted: May 24th, 2017 by

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