In a controversial result, the M25 has won the Best Garden Award at this year’s Chelsea Flower Show. The 117-mile long slab of Tarmacadam and reinforced concrete beat all-comers to the coveted accolade, the first time an eight-lane highway has been garlanded at a Royal Horticultural Society event.
The judges praised its ‘modern, graceful, flowing lines’, the brilliant way that green spaces are sometimes visible around it, flashing in an out of view to the point where ‘one doesn’t know if they are there or not’, and were entranced by Junction 30 especially, and the way it ‘destroys a vast swathe of southern Essex’. The Queen Elizabeth II Bridge over the water feature also drew approval.
The M25’s designer, Lutyens Hardshoulder, was delighted at the recognition, after 31 years of entering horticultural events to no avail, stating: ‘It has been a long hard road’. However, the gardening author, Pippy Lawn-Sexxe, preferred the more traditional – a delightfully titled – ‘Tuft of Grass, surrounding your British Gas Smart Meter’.
At the end of the show on Sunday, the public will be allowed to buy the M25 in individual sections, including speed cameras, warning signs and Fuckket Lane Services Dogging Exercise Area. Proceeds will go to the Campaign To Protect Rural England & Cottaging.