Worrying rise in eye contact during rush-hour commute

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As humans seek to reconnect with our communities during particularly worrying and atrocious times, the great bastion of dehumanisation, the rush hour commute, has sadly been hit with savage attempts at communication.

‘It was very unsettling and totally uncalled for,’ Sheila Cockcroft of Morden told us, ‘I was on the 0813 from Wimbledon off up into town and this man caught my eye and smiled at me.  Just like that.  Didn’t avert his eyes or pretend to fall asleep and get off at the next stop. He. Just. Smiled. What is the world coming to?’

Reports such as this are becoming all too common as a certain sick faction of society are looking to strengthen their link with their commuter colleagues in the most inappropriate places.  Some told us of doors being held open, prams being helped onto trains and even a particularly worrying incident of a dropped newspaper being returned to a commuter with a confusingly cheery smile.

‘I don’t know what’s next, I’m worried that someone might talk to me and that I’d have to get off the train and have a couple of weeks off work.  The inalienable rules of commuting and decoupling yourself from civilization is starting to crumble and I’m just not ready for it.’

 

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Posted: May 28th, 2017 by

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