Vicar’s wife likes cock, apparently

woman-with-ice-cream-2004777_640

The wife of the vicar in a quiet parish in the Isle of Wight is more than a bit partial to cock, it has emerged among the congregation. Angela Danielson, 39, has been married to the Reverend Keith Danielson for eight years, during which time her appetite for cock has led to the couple enjoying steamy sessions of lovemaking on average 1.5 times per month during the early years.

‘Angela is perfect in the role of country vicar’s wife,’ commented Edith Patterson, a server at St Michael’s Church in Ventor. ‘She keeps an open house for parishioners, settles disputes over flower arranging on Sunday, organises the choir and judges the jam making competition at the annual bazaar with consummate diplomacy.’

‘And, from what I can gather and if the role permitted it, of course, I have no doubt she would also be a cum-happy bukkake skank with a particular fondness for uncut cock packing at least ten inches. I just hope Keith realises what an asset she is and does his best to satisfy her unquenchable sluttiness.’

With her husband covering five parishes and spending much of his spare time making model aircraft in the shed to deal with his stress problem that inexplicably led him to unlikely friendships among secretive all-male communities in East Cowes, Angela has taken to preaching as well. Parishioners were particularly enraptured by her recent exposition on Ezekiel 16, 28 ‘Thou hast played the whore also with the Assyrians, because thou wast unsatiable; yea, thou hast played the harlot with them, and yet couldest not be satisfied’.

‘Most church ladies were married once, you know,’ said Patterson. ‘The masterful delivery of that sermon left us in no doubt, either that the conduct of the ancient Israelites in troubled times is a powerful metaphor for the growing decadence of the secular world, or that underneath the sensible shoes and shapeless long dresses there beats a passionate desire for cock. As much and as often as even the tartiest fuck-pig could ever take. From her husband and with a view to children, of course.’

Share this story...

Posted: May 30th, 2017 by

Click for more article by ..


© 2017 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer