EU to be run by Sky

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Following the turmoil caused by the UK voting to leave the EU, officials have decided to award the job of running the organisation to Sky. A Sky spokesman explained that they were “terribly pleased to be awarded the multi-million Euro contract” and they outlined their proposals.

“We intend to package up the various parts of the EU. For example there will be the free trade package, the freedom of movement package and the monetary unification package. Governments can elect to buy into any or all packages,” he said, before confirming that “BT still has the European sport package, but we’re working with the German Army to resolve that.”

Regarding the Brexit vote, Sky have passed the UK government onto their retention team. “We’ve suggested the UK drops the freedom of movement package for a couple of years and have offered a reduced price for the next twelve months. The price will rise again after the introductory period and they will be locked in, but only for twenty years, but we’re sure we can accommodate them year to year with new packages, such as access to the European Union Army,” said a retention team spokesman.

Talk Talk was “disappointed not to be awarded the contract”, and say their suggestion to outsource the EU administration to India was “probably misunderstood.”

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2017 by

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