Prime Minister Theresa May has entered into talks with maverick election also-ran Lord Buckethead, following a night of disappointing results for the Tory leader.
A hideous wraith thought to hail from a distant planet and harbouring a monotonous robotic voice, Theresa May first encountered Lord Buckethead on the podium in Berkshire, where she promised lower taxes, and he stood on a platform of leaving the European Union by sending it into space, curbing overpopulation by vaporising planets, and ending Parliamentary gridlock by appointing himself Supreme Galactic Overlord.
Buckethead, a Midichlorian-denier, also believes in the abolition of inter-species marriage, the scrapping of subsidies for sustainable warp technologies, and the imprisonment in a two-dimensional prison crystal of arch enemy Captain Cheese Slice the Third, who came fourth in the neighbouring borough of Wokingham. Negotiations are expected to be tense, with sticking points likely to be over the fine details of the Master/Apprentice relationship.
A Conservative spokesman told us: ‘Though Mr Buckethead, having failed to win a seat, can’t give us the Parliamentary majority we need, we nonetheless envision a mutually advantageous partnership through our competent handling of the economy and his policies of mercilessly crushing all enemies before him. Together, we can offer powerful programme of strong and stable annihilation.’
He added: ‘We have our differences but he is at least less right-wing than the DUP.’