Eon Productions, cashing in on Jeremy Corbyn’s recent success in the General Election, have announced that he will star as the popular British Secret Agent, James Bond, in an upcoming film.
‘We’re pretty excited about Jeremy coming on board for this production and look forward to an interpretation that will be at pace with modern times,’ said a producer who didn’t want to be named whilst he rushed away.
A bouyant Mr Corbyn spoke to us regarding the role, ‘I am very happy to bring Mr Bond up to date with my view of how we should manage conflict, it should be both exciting and educational for our nation’s youth.’ He was dressed in an ill fitting tuxedo with no tie with a copy of socialist worker in his jacket pocket. ‘I see no situation which cannot be made better by negotiation and the force of the collective will of the people and the UN. I will be a force for good but force will only be used as the very last resort.’
Asked whether he had any views on how he would approach his arch enemies and their Organisations he said, ‘Look, it’s widely documented that I shared a platform with SPECTRE and even negotiated with Ernst Blofeld in the past but this is no way makes me sympathetic to their cause of World Domination. I’m sure we can all find a way co-exist peacefully. And before you ask, no I won’t be carrying a gun, I’ll be carrying a book of socialist poetry which is far more effective than bullets.’
No name has been put forward for the project at the moment but rumours are about that it could be ‘License to Negotiate'; ‘The Man with the Silver Beard'; or a remake of ‘From Russia with Love’.