Man who is ‘all over’ something actually only marginally more motivated


An enthusiastic but unrealistic work colleague who claims that he is going to be ‘all over’ a task that needs completing this afternoon, is in reality only going to give it a slightly increased bit of his attention for a few minutes, it has been disappointingly revealed. ‘Those excel spreadsheets with the monthly figures on – I’m totally all over those after lunch, you guys’ , announced Pete Jones, reassuringly before opening up episode 5 of White Gold on iplayer.

Other statements made by Jones should probably be reduced by a factor of 10 to give a more reasonable indication of their strength, it has been suggested. The assertion he regularly makes that ‘mate, I’m simply not having that’, for example, applied to anything from Ed Sheeran songs, to requests to do the sandwich run on a Friday, actually just means that he has a mild dislike of the thing in question.

Colleagues have been advised that Jones’ repeated use of the phrase ‘I’ve got this’, is, frustratingly, likely to mean the exact opposite.

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2017 by

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