Karma suffers huge backlog

john lennon

In a rarely given interview Karma spoke candidly about how he is struggling to keep up with the demands of the modern world. Having been granted this special one on one interview I wanted to get straight to the point, so I asked Karma how a man like Donald Trump, a misogynist, a racist, and a man who doesn’t pay taxes got to be the president of the united states?

‘Good question,’ replied Karma. ‘The thing you need to know first off is that karma isn’t instant. I think John Lennon’s to blame for that misconception. You know, I get heckled on the street almost everyday because of John Lennon. ‘Oi Instant Karma,’ i get people shouting at me, ‘you should change your name to sometime soon Karma.’ I understand their frustration, I really do.’

There are some serious individuals that need dealing with,’ continued Karma. ‘But I have a serious backlog and the thing with Karma is no matter how big, or small, it has to be dealt with on a first come first serve basis. You are quite right Donald Trump does deserve a dose of some instant karma, but I can’t just bump Donald to the top of the list and the list of people I have to deal with at the moment goes back years, I’m talking decades.’

Karma went on to say that his workload is so bad, at the minute, he hasn’t been able to take a holiday since the 90s. ‘I just finished dishing out karma to people from the 70s and 80s. It was pretty bad back then, Vietnam, the cold war, Maggie Thatcher taking milk off kids, I mean it was proper kicking off between people and countries, but then shortly after the first gulf war, the early nineties, things started to settled down a bit, especially in Britain. You had Brit Pop and New Labour, which bought with it such a sense of unity and optimism and we all know how that ended. Talking of New Labour I still haven’t caught up with Tony yet, that kind of gives you an idea of how bad my backlog is at the minute.’

A slightly emotional Karma said, ‘You know if I could bump people to the top of my list it wouldn’t be Donald. It would be anyone who had any involvement in the building that went up recently in Kensington. Nasty stuff. People were warned on many occasions about the dangers of that building and yet it fell on deaf ears. Yeah sure the Prime Minister of Great Britain will do a public inquiry, which at best will make scapegoats of a few people while covering up the majority of it, but nothing gets past me and I can promise you that anyone involved will be dealt with.

‘People always get dealt their comeuppance.’ On a last note Karma signed off the interview. ‘Stay safe and be nice to people, because I’m watching and trust me I don’t fuck about when I catch up with you.’

Naff Laff

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2017 by

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