Polls show ‘exit’ lead for marriage referendum

The Norway model

Many UK couples are still undecided on whether or not they should stay within their troubled union of 43 years.  One husband, Mr Whittington, commented: ‘On one hand there’s the stability factor-better the devil you know and all that.  On the other, there’s Debbie from No.68 – but that comes with a risk, as she’s a lot younger.  So – years of more of the same constant nagging and low level stress or risk a hernia with Debbie?’

Those seeking an early exit include Mr Whittington’s friends down the public house he attends, who claim that he has become a shadow of his former self since the union and needs a chance to return to being the spirited, free individual he once was.  While younger voters, specifically his financially insolvent teenagers, favour remain – if only to keep their inheritance fund intact.

Mrs Whittington also has her doubts claiming that an exit would mean outsourcing vital construction work, such as the putting up of shelves and other DIY tasks.  Their son, David Whittington – 14, complained: ‘You must understand that at present, with some prolonged nagging, it’s very easy for us to access daddy’s cash. Should he leave, we would have to spend every Saturday afternoon in McDonald’s in the hope of receiving a tenner at the end of it.’

Economists have predicted that exiting the union may at first see the Wittington’s haemorrhaging ‘vital funds’ due to divorce costs and loss of property – including the beach hut they jointly own in Bognor.  However both partners may find an upsurge in confidence – thanks to Mrs Whittington’s improved career options and Debbie encouraging Mr Whittington to experiment with chinos.

S J Roe

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2017 by

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