37 year old Thomas Price was finally able to come out to friends as a wine and spirit drinker last night after years of drinking lager. “I’ve always known,” said Thomas. “I know a lot people don’t like the taste at first, but I knew I’d never be able to get used to it.”
Thomas, like many grown men can spend years, some spend their entire lives in the closet, ashamed and embarrassed at what friends and family might think of them.
“The taste of lager hitting the back of my throat just made me gag,” said Thomas. “England games were the worst. Not only would I have to drink lager I would have to act all laddish, as well, when all I really wanted was a glass of Chardonnay in my hand while having a sophisticated conversation on why Gareth Southgate had decided to drop Wayne Rooney.”
“I didn’t want to say anything, especially to the other lads, but I always had an inkling he was,” said best mate Dave on hearing the news. “There have been plenty of times when I’d turn to talk to Thomas and there he’d be eyeing up a glass of Pinot Noir on the next table. It was terrible to see. In hindsight I should have confronted him earlier about it.”
After telling friends Thomas decided it was also time to tell his Mum and Dad. “Mum seemed really proud that I was able to tell grown men that I didn’t like lager, dad didn’t take it as well, but he gave me a reassuring hug and told me that I was still his son no matter what.”