New Kens released in order to keep up with Barbie’s sexual appetite

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Not satisfied with just one Ken, it has been revealed that it was Barbie who demanded that Mattel release 15 new Kens, all at the same time, in order to satisfy her needs in the bedroom.

Long term boyfriend ‘Original Ken’ welcomed the new recruits. “Me and Barbie have been an item since 1961, so it’ll be no surprise when I tell you things have got a little stale in the bedroom. Hopefully these new Kens will really spice it up a bit and those new guys are hot. One of them has a man bun, I’ll definitely be having a cheeky tug on that.

It was also under Barbie’s instructions that there was no point in having 15 new Kens if they were all going to be white dudes. “I really wanted to push the boat out,” said Barbie. “I mean can you imagine if I’d been caught having sexual relations with an African American doll in the 60s or 70s, there would have been an outrage. It’s 2017, so when Mattel asked me what I wanted in a man, I said, lets live a little, lets go diverse.

“15, are you serious?” said British rival doll, Cindy after being told of the plans to release 15 new Kens all at once. “I’m going to put it plain and simple. That girl is a slut, always has been and always will be. She can’t help herself. Every one knows she was sleeping with GI Joe behind Original Ken’s back during the seventies. And no one ever talks about her cocaine fueled threesomes with He Man and Skeletor during the eighties, the girl’s an animal.

Cindy’s boyfriend Paul, said. “To be fair it’s not just Barbie, Original Ken is just as bad. He often talked about girlfriend swapping. We’d had a few to drink one night when he turned to me and said, ‘I’ll let you have a go on Barbie, if you let me rub mounds with your Cindy.’ I told him, I said, ‘hold it there fella, you’ve crossed the line, me and Cindy are exclusive.’ Dirty bastards, they really are.”

 

Naff Laff

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2017 by

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